I hate cats. No, scratch that. I loathe them.
They are one of the most cunning beings that could take dominion over humanity if we can't keep their hypnotizing effects in check—that is what I'm trying to tell myself as I add to cart collars, cat toys, cat food, and a grooming kit for the monthly shopping sale (they're fifty percent off by the way).
You might be scratching your heads right now, and so am I. The pandemic is a shock for everyone, so to my self-awareness. I guess isolation from the outside world can compel you to do the weirdest things. Mine just happened to be adopting creatures that I reportedly loathe.
To top it off, not one got in but two. Take note, "got in" I never wanted them. They just forced their way in—successfully advancing their territory from the gates to my couch.
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If there is one thing I'm sure about this plot twist, it is that cats are furry freeloaders who are demanding, sassy, and do what they want to do. Having one means you got tricked into signing a one-sided agreement.
But despite this, and the small price of scooping turds, I figured that adopting (serving) your own cunning feline might be the greatest deal of your life, and here is why.
1. They tolerate your existence.
Cats are the very definition of unbothered. Try calling a cat's name, and you will have a 50 percent chance of summoning them. Do not be fooled; they did hear you. They just don't care enough to acknowledge it. A study by Saito Atsuko at the University of Tokyo proved that cats recognize their names. They just don't respond to them.
Though it hurts, it's more evolutionary than personal. Atsuko explained that cats domesticated themselves to human habitat when farming started to be a thing. Their ancestors came down from the hills and began killing rodents from the crops. This means that from the start, they initiated their integration with humans. Unlike dogs, cats weren't purposely trained to do what they have to do. More so reacting to any verbal cues emitted by humans.
Having said this, they could ignore your shenanigans all day, as they sit from afar and look down on your pathetic existence.
2. They make you live longer.
As if owning a cat couldn't get any better, they apparently make you live longer too. It is scientifically proven that anxiety and stress are heavily linked to cardiovascular illness. A 10-year study conducted by the American Stroke Association's International Stroke Conference in New Orleans confirmed that cat owners have a 30 percent lower risk of death from a heart attack compared to non-cat owners.
"Simply petting an animal can decrease the level of the stress hormone cortisol and boost the release of the neurotransmitter serotonin, resulting in lowered blood pressure and heart rate and, possibly, in an elevated mood." Marwan Sabbagh, MD, Director of Cleveland Clinic's Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health, stated in a 2008 medical news feature.
So, when a cat finally gives you the muzzle rub, be honored; you might have earned another second in your life. If this does not seal the deal, I don't know what is.
3. They are low maintenance.
If you are worried about your cat getting stinky—don't. Because they have a degree in grooming.
According to Richard Kirschner or more popularly known as Jackson Galaxy, a cat behaviorist, cats take up to 50 percent of their waking hours to groom themselves. If someone can do it best, it's no other than them.
They eat less food and water, too, because they are small, do not take up much space, and almost make zero noise that you must put bells on their collar to ensure the kitchen counter is safe.
Aside from feeding them and taking yearly trips to the vet (unless your cat is unwell), cats can pretty much manage on their own.
Kristyn Vitale, Ph.D., a researcher and educator in animal behavior, explained that the Felis silvestris lybica— cats' ancestors are asocial in nature. They are wild cats from North Africa and Southwest Asia that humans managed to domesticate. They do not make close bonds to their species or stay in groups unless it's mating season. Because of this, cats are hardwired to be independent.
4. They keep your ego in check.
The line' cat supremacy' is not an understatement. A cat can teach you a thing or two about patience and respect. They lessen humanity's vanity.
Cats are very clear on boundaries. The notion that cats are arrogant may come off as true, but as independent and instinctive creatures, doing things on their own terms is just their way of life.
According to Vitale, forcing them to be cuddly will overstimulate their biologically minute tolerance to physical touch, and expecting them to look mellow is impossible because they did not evolve to have enough facial muscle that could elicit more child-like expressions as dogs do.
In a nutshell, being someone other than ourselves is an unpleasant experience; the same goes for our cute little felines.
5. Don't be fooled; they love you!
Sayingh all these might sound like cats are indeed cold-hearted, but contrary to popular belief, they get attached to you. They just have their own way of showing it.
In her experiment, Vitale concluded that cats have 64.3 and 65.8 percent attachment and are pretty close to the 65 percent secure attachment rate seen in human infants. She added that the 'cat language' relies heavily on body movements. They may not vocally respond to your affections but the slow blinks are love confessions, and believe it or not, a cat not looking at you when you're talking to it is a sign that it relaxes around you.
At this point, you may or may not have been convinced to adopt your own feline friend, and if it is the latter—it's perfectly fine, as I don't know how I got myself convinced to be a cat mom either. In fact, the reason why humans get attached to cats is yet to be undermined, according to Dr. Atsuko.
Is it hypnotism? A cult for human slavery operated by cats? Who knows, the answers are yet to be unraveled, and I guess I will be a slave by then.
Now if you'll excuse me, let me check out these online orders.
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